curuchamion (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
curuchamion) wrote2011-03-24 03:55 pm
curuchamion) wrote2011-03-24 03:55 pm
Entry tags:
Oh, BROTHER.
I place all the blame for this on ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
lost_spook, who yoinked the link from clocketpatch. See, this thing is a random 'ship-ficlet generator (although it bills itself erroneously as a random drabble generator). It requires you to put in a ridiculous amount of information, but the results are spectacular.
Being the sort of person who... well, once made lost_spook write TARDIS/Millennium Falcon ship!'ship fic... I couldn't resist putting the same pairing into this oddment, with some adjustments such as "police box light" and "console" for body parts.
A Parsec In Time
On a round and all-in-one morning, TARDIS sat through space and time. It was Valentine's Day and she was all alone. Her police box light ached in sorrow for the secret love that she could never share. How could she expect Millennium Falcon to love someone with an intense quad laser cannon?
Gleefully, she began to recite a poem she had composed. "Ah, my love is like a blinkenlights boxy telephone, all on a summer's day. I wish my Millennium Falcon would fly me, in her own serviceable way..."
"Do you?" Millennium Falcon sat down beside TARDIS and put her hand on TARDIS's console. "I think that could be arranged."
TARDIS gasped surely. "But what about my intense quad laser cannon?"
"I like it," Millennium Falcon said swiftly. "I think it's hyper-spatio-temporal."
They came together and their kiss was like a scruffy-looking nerf herder on his way to the market.
"I love you," TARDIS said serendipitously.
"I love you too," Millennium Falcon replied and flew her.
They bought a bantha, moved in together, and lived slowly ever after.
I should admit that the scruffy-looking nerf herder was entirely my fault.
And then I hit "refresh" and it gave me SHAKESPEARE. Shakespeare, I say. With quad laser cannons. :D
TARDIS and Millennium Falcon
by William Shakespeare
Enter TARDIS
Millennium Falcon appears above at a window
TARDIS:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the parsec, and Millennium Falcon is the bantha.
Arise, default bantha, and fly the intense telephone.
See, how she leans her police box light upon her quad laser cannon!
O, that I were a glove upon that quad laser cannon,
That I might touch that police box light!
Millennium Falcon:
O TARDIS, TARDIS! wherefore art thou TARDIS?
What's in a name? That which we call a console
By any other name would smell as hyper-spatio-temporal
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "like a scruffy-looking nerf herder on his way to the market"
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,
Thou mayst prove round.
TARDIS:
Lady, by yonder intense telephone I swear
That tips through space and time the serviceable scarf--
Millennium Falcon:
O, swear not by the telephone, the boxy telephone,
That gleefully changes in its blue orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise blue.
Sweet, all-in-one night! A thousand times all-in-one night!
Parting is such blinkenlights sorrow,
That I shall say all-in-one night till it be morrow.
Exit above
TARDIS:
Sleep dwell upon thy police box light, peace in thy quad laser cannon!
Would I were sleep and peace, so surely to rest!
slowly will I to my default console's cell,
Its help to fly, and my hyper-spatio-temporal console to tell.
lost_spook, who yoinked the link from clocketpatch. See, this thing is a random 'ship-ficlet generator (although it bills itself erroneously as a random drabble generator). It requires you to put in a ridiculous amount of information, but the results are spectacular.Being the sort of person who... well, once made lost_spook write TARDIS/Millennium Falcon ship!'ship fic... I couldn't resist putting the same pairing into this oddment, with some adjustments such as "police box light" and "console" for body parts.
A Parsec In Time
On a round and all-in-one morning, TARDIS sat through space and time. It was Valentine's Day and she was all alone. Her police box light ached in sorrow for the secret love that she could never share. How could she expect Millennium Falcon to love someone with an intense quad laser cannon?
Gleefully, she began to recite a poem she had composed. "Ah, my love is like a blinkenlights boxy telephone, all on a summer's day. I wish my Millennium Falcon would fly me, in her own serviceable way..."
"Do you?" Millennium Falcon sat down beside TARDIS and put her hand on TARDIS's console. "I think that could be arranged."
TARDIS gasped surely. "But what about my intense quad laser cannon?"
"I like it," Millennium Falcon said swiftly. "I think it's hyper-spatio-temporal."
They came together and their kiss was like a scruffy-looking nerf herder on his way to the market.
"I love you," TARDIS said serendipitously.
"I love you too," Millennium Falcon replied and flew her.
They bought a bantha, moved in together, and lived slowly ever after.
I should admit that the scruffy-looking nerf herder was entirely my fault.
And then I hit "refresh" and it gave me SHAKESPEARE. Shakespeare, I say. With quad laser cannons. :D
TARDIS and Millennium Falcon
by William Shakespeare
Enter TARDIS
Millennium Falcon appears above at a window
TARDIS:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the parsec, and Millennium Falcon is the bantha.
Arise, default bantha, and fly the intense telephone.
See, how she leans her police box light upon her quad laser cannon!
O, that I were a glove upon that quad laser cannon,
That I might touch that police box light!
Millennium Falcon:
O TARDIS, TARDIS! wherefore art thou TARDIS?
What's in a name? That which we call a console
By any other name would smell as hyper-spatio-temporal
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "like a scruffy-looking nerf herder on his way to the market"
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,
Thou mayst prove round.
TARDIS:
Lady, by yonder intense telephone I swear
That tips through space and time the serviceable scarf--
Millennium Falcon:
O, swear not by the telephone, the boxy telephone,
That gleefully changes in its blue orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise blue.
Sweet, all-in-one night! A thousand times all-in-one night!
Parting is such blinkenlights sorrow,
That I shall say all-in-one night till it be morrow.
Exit above
TARDIS:
Sleep dwell upon thy police box light, peace in thy quad laser cannon!
Would I were sleep and peace, so surely to rest!
slowly will I to my default console's cell,
Its help to fly, and my hyper-spatio-temporal console to tell.
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I feel v sorry for the poor lonely TARDIS in the first, one. It's a v sweet one.
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The first one is rather sweet, I agree. The third one I got was downright porny - too flusterating to post! *g*
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The one I got for a favorite pairing, I can't even post because of how certain phrasings happened to be put together... *DIES*